The Ultimate “F” Word

People throw around what we traditionally consider the “F word” in public like it's no big deal—at baseball games, at the beach, in grocery store aisles. We say it casually, loudly, even around children and elders. There’s no hesitation, no fear.

That’s the actual “F” word we avoid involves our real fears.

Fear has become completely forbidden. We don’t talk about it, and often, we won’t even admit it to ourselves.

So let’s talk about it.

For me, fear often wears one mask: rejection. I’m afraid of giving something my all and realizing it wasn’t enough. I’m afraid that if you see who I really am and walk away, it’ll confirm every childhood wound I’ve carried—like when my fourth-grade teacher told me I was a terrible artist, or when I didn’t make the first college baseball team I tried out for. Or that middle school dance where I stood frozen, afraid to ask anyone to dance.

I’m sorry if all this “F word” talk makes you uncomfortable. But maybe it’s time we get uncomfortable—because silence is what makes fear grow. Left unspoken, it starts running the show behind the scenes, influencing every decision we make.

But fear doesn’t stand alone. It usually brings a friend: shame.

Shame tells us we’re the only ones who’ve failed, who’ve felt rejected, who’ve messed up. It paralyzes us and silences our vulnerability. The antidote to shame is not strength—it’s normalizing discomfort. When we talk about our fears, our mistakes, our longing to grow, we loosen shame’s grip.

And here’s where my favorite “A word” comes in: Action.

Not just any action—courageous action. I often talk about building your “action muscles.” When you act in spite of fear, when you accept that rejection is part of the process, you grow stronger. You stop trying to prove you’re enough and start living like you are. That’s the difference between showing off and showing up.

But fear—left unchecked—turns into procrastination. Into inaction. And we unknowingly pass it down through how we manage, parent, and interact. I know I have. As a producer in creative meetings, I didn’t always listen. Sometimes I judged too quickly. Instead of being present, I was already rewriting the pitch in my head. That behavior kills creativity.

Now, as a coach, my job is to hold space, not fill it. I ask questions instead of giving answers. I help my clients discover their own wisdom. When you truly listen to someone, without needing to be right or impressive, they open up. That’s where the transformation happens.

So how do we begin to rewrite our relationship with fear and shame?

3 Ways to Overcome Fear and Shame

1. Be Imperfect

I have a YouTube series called Imperfect Friday where I share messy, real-life moments. Why? Because perfectionism is just protectionism—it’s a shield to avoid being seen and judged. But growth doesn’t come from hiding. It comes from showing up, flaws and all.

2. Talk About It

If something scares you, speak it. Write it in your journal. Say it to a friend. The treasure we seek is often in the cave we fear most. And the moment you name your fear, you shrink its power.

3. Listen Without Armor

Practice being fully present with someone. Not to fix. Not to advise. Just to hear them. When you hold space for others, you teach your nervous system it’s safe to be vulnerable too. That’s when real connection—and healing—happens.

The next time fear whispers that you’re not enough, light your lantern, step into the cave, and remember - you’re not alone, and you’re braver than you think.

Why I Was Terrified Of Social Media - And How I Overcame It

For years, I was terrified of social media. I was afraid to post a picture or share a positive message with someone I cared about. I told myself I just didn’t like it, but the truth was, I was afraid of being judged.

When I started my coaching business, I knew I couldn’t let fear hold me back. I told myself, "There’s no failure, only learning." So, I built a website, created business cards, joined networking groups, and started working with clients. I was testing every avenue to grow my business.

But as I observed other successful coaches, one thing became clear: they all had a strong social media presence. If I wanted to reach my goals, I’d have to embrace this too.

Studying mindset and learning neuro-linguistic programming helped me look at things differently. But even with these tools, I still felt frozen. What if nobody watched my videos? As a television producer, that felt humiliating. What if people used it to make fun of me behind my back? What if the people I worked with in TV saw it and it impacted my career?

I was playing a game of “what if?”—but never considering the positive side of the question. What if people did find value in what I was sharing? What if I could help others through my journey?

I dug deeper and realized the root of my fear: What if I’m not good enough? It’s a limiting belief that holds many of us back, lurking quietly in our subconscious.

I used the tools I’d learned to identify this belief—and remove it.

Then, I posted that first video. I wrote my first blog. I went on my first podcast. And something amazing happened: I loved it! My friends reached out to encourage me. Strangers contacted me, telling me how helpful my content was. I had discovered that creating content, something I’ve loved since I was five, could be part of growing my business.

The more I posted, the more I wanted to post. Two months ago, I never would have dreamed of writing this blog, being so vulnerable with so many people. But I know many of you feel the same way, because so many of my small business clients face the same fear and avoid social media.

So, I want to share three things I tell them:

1. Action leads to more action. When you take action, it frees you to be fearless in other areas of your life as well.

2. Nobody really cares. Everyone is focused on their own lives—they don’t even notice what you’re doing.

3. The people who love you will always love you. There are people who won’t like you—that’s okay. Focus on the ones who do.

To everyone who has reached out with kind words of encouragement—thank you! Your support is “Action Fuel” for me.

If you’re holding back because of fear of judgment, I urge you to run toward the very thing you’re afraid of. Break free from that fear and don’t waste another second holding yourself back.