Why “I’m Not Good Enough” Isn’t the Truth — and How to Move Past It

I’m Not Good Enough!

Have you ever heard that voice kicking around in your head? I know I have. It often pops up just when you're building the courage to chase something you really want. Maybe you think, "I'm going to start writing that screenplay." And then the doubt creeps in: "Who are you fooling? Everyone will laugh at you. You’re too old to start something like that."

Whether it’s learning to play guitar, switching careers, or writing a blog, negative self-talk shows up in many forms. But if you boil it down, it often centers around the belief: “I’m not good enough.”

I’ve worked with so many clients who struggle with this exact thought. And honestly? I’ve battled it myself too. Often times, we don’t even know it is there. It isn’t something we consciously walk around saying. That is what makes it even more detrimental. It is lurking around in your subconscious mind and blocking you from achieving what you want in life.

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), believing “I’m not good enough” is a limiting decision.
Like all limiting decisions, it wasn’t something you were born believing. At some point — usually before the age of seven — something happened that made you decide, deep in your subconscious mind, that you weren't good enough.

Maybe it was a teacher’s harsh comment. Maybe it was a moment where you felt unseen or unimportant. Whatever the trigger was, it planted a seed — and unless you pull it out by the roots, it can quietly shape your life for decades.

One of my favorite tools to work with this is something from NLP called Parts Integration. When I use this with a client, I help them connect to the part of themselves that feels "not good enough" — and the part that knows they are capable and worthy. Instead of fighting with these parts, we integrate them. Because even that voice of doubt is trying, in its own way, to protect you — usually from disappointment, embarrassment, or failure.

But staying "safe" often means staying small. And you were meant for more than that. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling “not good enough,” here’s something to remember:

That belief was learned.
Anything learned can be unlearned.
And you have everything you need inside you to move forward.

You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re not too late.

Here are three simple tools you can start using today to move through those feelings of “not good enough”:

1. What If? — Imagine the Possibility

Ask yourself:

"What would it look like if I was good enough?"

Spend a few minutes journaling two short paragraphs where you are already enough.
What are you doing?
How do people respond to you?
What does your life look and sound like?

By stepping into this "what if" world, you begin creating new pathways in your brain — and new possibilities in your life.

2. Memory Lane — Gather Your Evidence

Think back to three times in your life when you took a chance — and it worked out. Maybe it was a job you landed, a project you finished, or a relationship you built.

Write down these three memories in a journal.
Then revisit them every morning for the next week.
Let them remind you:

You’ve been good enough all along.

3. Redefine Failure — Success by Learning

What if you could see failure as just feedback?

Instead of seeing a mistake as proof you’re not good enough, see it as one more step toward finding what does work.

Every "failure" is simply a test that brings you one step closer to success.

Final Thought

That voice that says you're not good enough?
It was never the truth.
It was just a story your younger self created to try to stay safe.

You don’t have to believe it anymore.

You are more ready than you think.

And your next step — no matter how small — is enough.

If this resonated with you and you want to dive deeper, feel free to reach out. Helping people move beyond these old stories is one of my greatest joys. FREE CONSULTATION

Only So Many: Choosing How We React to Life’s Inconveniences

What if, instead of asking “Why me?” when something bad happens, you used a simple mindset shift to feel better?

Imagine that in life, certain inconveniences are bound to happen—almost like they’re scheduled events. You’re going to get pooped on by a bird three times. You’re going to get a parking ticket 15 times. You’re going to bite your tongue 37 times.

The numbers aren’t important. What matters is the perspective: Today was just the day for this to happen. It wasn’t personal. It wasn’t a punishment. It was simply one of the inevitable moments that life doles out.

When you think this way, the “Why is this happening to me?” emotion disappears, and you’re left with only the facts.

A Ticket, a $2,000 Repair, and a Choice

I learned this recently when I got pulled over by the police while driving my daughter. We were on our way to pick up my car after paying a hefty $2,000 repair bill. I was already feeling the weight of the expense when flashing lights appeared in the rearview mirror.

The officer came to the window, and I realized I had no idea where my wife’s car registration was. The insurance card? Also missing. Perfect recipe for stress, right?

Instead of panicking, I calmly searched the glove box and then asked if I could show proof of insurance through an app. The officer grumbled that I should have a physical copy, but it would be fine. Then he added, “I’m giving you a ticket for going 40 in a 25.”

Now, those tickets always feel like gotcha moments. 40 mph isn’t fast, and when police sit and wait in those zones, it’s frustrating. In the past, I would have been furious. But this time, I smiled. I stayed calm.

My daughter asked, “Dad, how can you be so calm?”

I told her:

"In my life, I will have unexpected car repairs. Today was just one of those days.
In my life, I will get a certain number of tickets. Today was just one of those days.
But in my life, I will only have so many chances to teach you that you get to choose how you react.

That is your choice.

You can choose to be frustrated. You can choose to let something small ruin your day. Or you can choose calm. You can choose to move on. You can choose to keep enjoying the day.”

Only So Many

There are only so many times you’ll see a sunrise.
Only so many times your child will ask you to read a bedtime story.
Only so many morning walks with the dog.

The little good things in life? They are just as limited as the little bad things. The difference is, we don’t keep count of them the same way.

So next time something frustrating happens, remind yourself: Today was just one of those days. And then ask yourself: What small, beautiful moment did I get today?

Because there are only so many of those, too.