It’s Not The Shoes

Becoming who you want to be starts with accepting who you are

Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money. I needed new baseball cleats—and all we could afford were velcro no-name sneakers. Meanwhile, the other kids were rocking Nikes, Reeboks, Converse. I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to go to the game. But my mom looked me in the eye and said something I’ll never forget - “It’s not the shoes. It’s the person wearing them.”

I went to that game in those knock-off velcro shoes—and hit a massive home run. Next game, two of the kids on my team had somehow tracked down those exact same sneakers. But they didn’t hit home runs. Because it was never the shoes. It never is.

We All Do This

We compare.
We make excuses.
We tell ourselves we’re not where we want to be because we don’t have what “they” have.

“Of course she looks amazing—she only had one kid.”
“Of course he’s calm—look at the house he lives in.”

Joy, confidence, and self-worth aren’t a result of your circumstances. They’re a result of how you show up inside them. You don’t need better shoes. You need to stop blaming the shoes.

Joy Is Available Now

Anyone can walk barefoot through the grass.
Anyone can hike a trail.
Anyone can take a breath at the beach.
Anyone can turn off their phone and listen to the wind.

You don’t need a better life to live more deeply in this one.

Becoming Starts with Belonging

If you want to become the person you’re meant to be, you first need to get comfortable being the person you already are. In velcro sneakers, no-name brands, and all. Because it’s never the shoes. It’s always you.

Why “I’m Not Good Enough” Isn’t the Truth — and How to Move Past It

I’m Not Good Enough!

Have you ever heard that voice kicking around in your head? I know I have. It often pops up just when you're building the courage to chase something you really want. Maybe you think, "I'm going to start writing that screenplay." And then the doubt creeps in: "Who are you fooling? Everyone will laugh at you. You’re too old to start something like that."

Whether it’s learning to play guitar, switching careers, or writing a blog, negative self-talk shows up in many forms. But if you boil it down, it often centers around the belief: “I’m not good enough.”

I’ve worked with so many clients who struggle with this exact thought. And honestly? I’ve battled it myself too. Often times, we don’t even know it is there. It isn’t something we consciously walk around saying. That is what makes it even more detrimental. It is lurking around in your subconscious mind and blocking you from achieving what you want in life.

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), believing “I’m not good enough” is a limiting decision.
Like all limiting decisions, it wasn’t something you were born believing. At some point — usually before the age of seven — something happened that made you decide, deep in your subconscious mind, that you weren't good enough.

Maybe it was a teacher’s harsh comment. Maybe it was a moment where you felt unseen or unimportant. Whatever the trigger was, it planted a seed — and unless you pull it out by the roots, it can quietly shape your life for decades.

One of my favorite tools to work with this is something from NLP called Parts Integration. When I use this with a client, I help them connect to the part of themselves that feels "not good enough" — and the part that knows they are capable and worthy. Instead of fighting with these parts, we integrate them. Because even that voice of doubt is trying, in its own way, to protect you — usually from disappointment, embarrassment, or failure.

But staying "safe" often means staying small. And you were meant for more than that. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling “not good enough,” here’s something to remember:

That belief was learned.
Anything learned can be unlearned.
And you have everything you need inside you to move forward.

You’re not broken.
You’re not behind.
You’re not too late.

Here are three simple tools you can start using today to move through those feelings of “not good enough”:

1. What If? — Imagine the Possibility

Ask yourself:

"What would it look like if I was good enough?"

Spend a few minutes journaling two short paragraphs where you are already enough.
What are you doing?
How do people respond to you?
What does your life look and sound like?

By stepping into this "what if" world, you begin creating new pathways in your brain — and new possibilities in your life.

2. Memory Lane — Gather Your Evidence

Think back to three times in your life when you took a chance — and it worked out. Maybe it was a job you landed, a project you finished, or a relationship you built.

Write down these three memories in a journal.
Then revisit them every morning for the next week.
Let them remind you:

You’ve been good enough all along.

3. Redefine Failure — Success by Learning

What if you could see failure as just feedback?

Instead of seeing a mistake as proof you’re not good enough, see it as one more step toward finding what does work.

Every "failure" is simply a test that brings you one step closer to success.

Final Thought

That voice that says you're not good enough?
It was never the truth.
It was just a story your younger self created to try to stay safe.

You don’t have to believe it anymore.

You are more ready than you think.

And your next step — no matter how small — is enough.

If this resonated with you and you want to dive deeper, feel free to reach out. Helping people move beyond these old stories is one of my greatest joys. FREE CONSULTATION