The Most Important Moment Of Your Life Is Right Now

For a big portion of my life, I was what I called a "looper." Something bad or embarrassing would happen — something I did, or something someone did to me — and I would replay it in my mind endlessly. Over and over. A memory that should have been a moment would become a prison.

I remember one moment vividly.

I had been working incredibly hard on a TV show, getting a lot of praise behind the scenes from my boss. Then, during a meeting with all the network executives, he had a complete meltdown and publicly attacked me. It stunned me. I was hurt and confused — but also determined to clear the air.

So at the end of the day, after the entire staff had gone home, I went into his office to have a calm conversation. I thought it would help. I thought it would show professionalism. Instead, he exploded again — worse this time — calling me names, personally attacking me, tearing me down.

I went home devastated.
I could only focus on this terrible loop.
I couldn’t function.

.
I looped the entire event in my head, blaming myself for having the courage to speak up.

That's what loopers do:

We blame ourselves for being human. We convince ourselves we did something to deserve the mistreatment. We torture ourselves with the past — something we can't change.

It almost makes me laugh now.
How could I have blamed myself for trying to do the right thing?

Learning about presence — especially through Eckhart Tolle and meditation — finally taught me to break free from the loop. It taught me something simple but life-changing:

The most important moment of your life is right now.
And now.
And now.

The only moment that matters is this one.

Now is where happiness lives.
Now is where your future is shaped.
Now is where every action that changes your life happens.

Your past?
It’s just a memory of a memory of a memory — distorted by time, emotion, and perception.
It isn’t even real anymore.

Now is real.
Now is the only thing that's real.

And here's the beautiful part:
If you didn’t take advantage of "now" before? That’s okay.
Because now is here again. Right now.

Three Ways to Stay in the Now:

1. Notice your loops.

When you catch yourself replaying something from the past, say to yourself: "That’s not happening anymore." Bring your attention gently back to this moment.

2. Create an anchor.

Use simple reminders — like focusing on your breath, feeling your feet on the ground, or asking yourself, "What’s happening right in front of me?" — to stay grounded in now.

3. Forgive yourself quickly.

The past does not define you.
You are not the mistakes you made or the pain you endured.
Forgiveness — especially for yourself — unlocks your power to be present.

You don’t have to be perfect to be free.
You just have to be here.
And you already are.

Divorce Yourself

You are tired of your career…Divorce Yourself from it!

You have a toxic friend…Divorce Yourself from them!

You want to lose weight…Divorce Yourself from your old habits!

When I decided my marriage was over and it was time to get a divorce, it felt like both a relief and a crushing weight at the same time. I told myself a lot of lies. “I had given up on my family.” “I wasn’t going to have the same relationship with my kids.” “I had failed.” I was in a really dark and difficult place.

Then surprisingly, as the days passed by, divorce became not an end, but a beginning. I was free to really explore who I was and what I wanted. I got back into the things I used to enjoy. I began hiking, riding my bike and reading everything I could get my hands on.

I rediscovered who I was and learned to love myself. I met the love of my life and got remarried. I lost 25 pounds and became an athlete again. I became an even better father. I showed my kids what being good to yourself looks like. I showed them what a good relationship looks like. I showed them that they too could face a fear and come out in better shape. All of this came out of the dirty “D” word.

Last year I found myself coaching someone who was in a similar situation, but for them it was their career. They had just been let go from their job and they were devastated. As we talked about the job, they told me their work had been a viscous cycle where they were surrounded by toxic people who would push them to the brink and then let them recover just enough before they did it all again.

They needed a divorce from this business and were lucky enough to be handed one. Instead of looking for a job in the same field, this was an opportunity to find a new path, which is exactly what they did. Rather than go back to the same type of environment which they were certainly qualified to do, they decided to get a divorce from their industry.

Even when something isn’t working, we often decide that familiarity is better than facing change. We will continue to live a life of unhappiness rather than trying something new. Divorcing yourself from things that no longer suit you is simply saying, “this isn’t working anymore and I am willing to face the fear of trying something new.” Divorce is not an end, it is a beginning.

If it is fear that is getting in the way of your big break-up, it is time to celebrate. Fear is an indicator that you are on the right path. I will leave you with a quote from Joseph Campbell that I love.

“THE CAVE YOU FEAR TO ENTER HOLDS THE TREASURE YOU SEEK.”